Work like you don

Mark Twain

When in doubt tell the truth.
Forgiveness is the fragrance the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it.
Let us so live that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry.
It usually takes more than three weeks to prepare a good impromptu speech.
The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like and do what you'd druther not.
We should be careful to get out of an experience only the wisdom that is in it- and stop there; lest we be like the cat that sits down on a hot stove-lid. She will never sit down on a hot stove-lid again---and that is well; but also she will never sit down on a cold one anymore.
When I was fourteen years old, I was amazed at how unintelligent my father was. By the time I turned twenty-one, I was astounded how much he had learned in the last seven years.
I am different from Washington; I have a higher, grander standard of principle. Washington could not lie. I can lie, but I won't.
We can secure other people's approval, if we do right and try hard; but our own is worth a hundred of it.
History, although sometimes made up of the few acts of the great, is more often shaped by the many acts of the small.
Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first.
Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.
The human race has one really effective weapon, and that is laughter.
Always do right. This will gratify some people and astonish the rest.
Loyalty to petrified opinion never yet broke a chain or freed a human soul.
Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear---not absence of fear.
Don't let school interfere with your education.
Its not the size of the dog in the fight, its the size of the fight in the dog.
When whole races and peoples conspire to propagate gigantic mute lies in the interest of tyrannies and shams, why should we care anything about the trifling lies told by individuals?

Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great.

Always do right. This will surprise some people and astonish the rest.

Get the facts first. You can distort them later.

You can't depend on your judgement when your imagination is out of focus.

I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.

A man who carries a cat by the tail is getting experience that will always be helpful. He isn't likely to grow dim or doubtful. Chances are, he isn't likely to carry the cat that way again, either. But if he wants to, I say let him!

It is not the facts that are of chief importance, but the light thrown upon them, the meaning in which they are dressed, the conclusions which are drawn from them, and the judgements delivered upon them.

We do not deal much in fact when we are contemplating ourselves.

Be good and you will be lonesome.

Often, the less there is to justify a traditional custom, the harder it is to get rid of it.

All our acts, reasoned and unreasoned, are selfish.

I have made it a rule never to smoke more than one cigar at a time.

Duties are not performed for duties' sake, but because their neglect would make the man uncomfortable. A man performs but one duty- the duty of contenting his spirit, the duty of making himself agreeable to himself.

Education consists mainly of what we have unlearned.

Whenever you find that you are on the side of the majority, it is time to reform.

It is best to read the weather forecasts before we pray for rain.

Man is kind enough when he is not excited by religion.

The institution of royalty in any form is an insult to the human race.

There are several good protections against temptation but the surest is cowardice.

A man never reaches that dizzy height of wisdom when he can no longer be led by the nose.

What, sir, would the people of the earth be without woman? They would be scarce, sir, almighty scarce.

Man is a Religious Animal. He is the only Religious Animal. He is the only animal that has the True Religion- several of them. He is the only animal that loves his neighbor as himself and cuts his throat if his theology isn't straight.

The history of the race, and each individual's experience, are thick with evidence that a truth is not hard to kill and that a lie told well is immortal.

Loyalty to petrified opinion never yet broke a chain or freed a human soul

We should be careful to get out of an experience only the wisdom that is in it- and stop there; lest we be like the cat that sits down on a hot stove lid. She will never sit down on a hot stove lid again- and that is well; but also she will never sit down on a cold one any more.

Thunder is good, thunder is impressive, but it is lightning that does the work.

Everybody talks about the weather but nobody does anything about it.

It is by the goodness of God that in our country we have those three unspeakably precious things: freedom of speech, freedom of conscience, and the prudence never to practice either of them.

For in a Republic, who is "the country?" Is it the Government which is for the moment in the saddle? Why, the Government is merely a servant- merely a temporary servant; it cannot be its prerogative to determine what is right and what is wrong, and decide who is a patriot and who isn't. Its function is to obey orders, not originate them.

Each of you, for himself, by himself and on his own responsibility, must speak. And it is a solemn and weighty responsibility, and not lightly to be flung aside at the bullying of pulpit, press, government, or the empty catchphrases of politicians. Each must for himself alone decide what is right and what is wrong, and which course is patriotic and which isn't. You cannot shirk this and be a man. To decide against your convictions is to be an unqualified and inexcusable traitor, both to yourself and to your country, let man label you as they may. If you alone of all the nation shall decide one way, and that way be the right way according to your convictions of the right, you have done your duty by yourself and by your country- hold up your head! You have nothing to be ashamed of.

War talk by men who have been in a war is always interesting; whereas moon talk by a poet who has not been in the moon is likely to be dull.

It may be called the Master Passion, the hunger for self-approval.

I believe that our Heavenly Father invented man because he was disappointed in the monkey.

Climate is what we expect, weather is what we get.